As someone with a lot of MAGA-supporting family, I know all too well how quick GOP quips can be casually injected into conversations, yet using that opportunity to have a serious conversation about it can feel like an “attack” or taking it too “seriously” to them. There’s an odd phenomenon that the Republican party has captured which has a lot of people feeling like MAGA is an identity they share, rather than a policy platform. As such, I find that questioning it seems to skip the “reasoning” part of the brain and detour through the “fight or flight” sector. You’re not questioning the party when you challenge the rhetoric, you’re calling the individual “dumb” or “evil” in their eyes.
A lot of sweet, caring people in my life feel their interests are best captured by the MAGA movement, which can be confusing and sometimes painful for me to come to grips with. It feels less like a regular political party and more like a couch they’ve sat in for so long that it’s fused to them, and it’s about that difficult to separate them.
But I’ve gotten decently good at threading that needle. I’m no professional, I’m just a random person, but it’s important to me, and I wanted to share what I’ve learned.
Break the false dichotomy
“So it’s only okay when your side does it?”
The biggest mistake you can make is falling into the rhetorical trap brainstormed by MAGA propagandists where you’re forced to answer for a Democrat any time you criticize a Republican. Remember that the opposite of “Republican” is not “Democrat”. They’re just two parties you can choose to choose from, and you gain a lot of credibility when you are consistent, even if (especially if) that means acknowledging faults of Democrats. The key is that you ideally haven’t tied your identity to a party or person, even if you align more closely with them.
Anticipate booby traps
“Why are you against reducing crime in our cities?”
A lot of MAGA talking points center around framing the narrative, and if you don’t see it coming, you’ll find yourself confusingly defending the worst versions of your own arguments. Don’t take their rhetoric at face value; if they say something reduces crime, for example, there are a few paths to challenge it:
- Is crime worse than it’s been?
- How does this solve the issue?
- Why is this better than the alternatives?
Stop and think if the dichotomy they’ve presented or the premise the argument sits upon actually makes sense–don’t just take it for granted that it does.
Hammer the indefensible
“If he really did that, I think I would know about it.”
Lots of casual MAGA advocates aren’t “into politics”, assume the worst of what they hear about Trump or the GOP is propaganda or exaggerated, and their attention is constantly shifted from distraction to distraction (by design). Sidestep the showy culture war bait and dig into the truly impactful, indisputable, and/or bipartisan things:
- Tax cuts for the rich
- Pardoning J6 rioters and white supremacists
- Blowing the deficit up
- Confusing vaccine rhetoric
- Soldiers in US cities
- Attacks on free speech
- Etc.
MAGA has people riled up over “men in women’s sports” and Sydney Sweeney’s clothes, but the truth is, the federal government has bigger things to focus on than dictating sports leagues’ rules, and frankly, so do you. It’s a piece of the puzzle to be sure, but not the whole picture.
Give them an exit
“So you’re saying I’m just an idiot, then?”
If you try to hold people’s feet to the fire, regardless of how justified it seems, it will only embolden them and feed the victimhood complex MAGA thrives on. Instead, give them a way out. They’ve been duped into supporting fake solutions for (sometimes) real problems. It happens to all of us one time or another. Use that to channel their frustration at being mislead by MAGA without trying to segue into selling your own political stance. All but the most diehard supporters will usually fall back to “they’re all on the same side”, which, it’s not perfect, but it’s better.
If you belittle them, your “reward” is your own self-satisfaction. My suggested methods don’t always work, kindness isn’t always returned, but it’s more effective than opening with hostility.
The Massachusetts angle
Massachusetts, arguably the bluest state, also has a Human Development Index that beats most other countries. Lean on what that means in practice. What, realistically, does someone supporting in MAGA living in Massachusetts hope to change?
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